


wake up

by orphan_account



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bad Poetry, Depressed Steve Rogers, Freeform, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Past Character Death, Poetry, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Pre-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Sad, prose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-06
Updated: 2019-06-06
Packaged: 2020-04-11 23:02:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19119490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Steve is having trouble getting over Bucky's death.





	wake up

**Author's Note:**

> okay so this is a prose poem written from steve's perspective as he talks about bucky to a therapist. it is written to be confusing so if you would like me to add spaces in between the lines to make it easier to read please let me know!
> 
> enjoy!!

i miss him every day now when i  
wake up  
i still throw my arm across to the other side of the bed to hug him i only just stopped making him breakfast i never stopped making his favorite coffee i think sometimes that if i do everything right i will  
wake up  
one morning and when i get back from my run he will be trying to  
wake up  
drinking the coffee i always make for him making his own breakfast because i didn't and then he'll burn the eggs because he never knows how long to cook them for because i always do it and i will hug him just like i always do because he can never  
wake up  
in the morning like i do i used to  
wake up  
real early because i love running i never used to be able to run there used to be some mornings where i wouldn't be able to breathe even though the only thing i had done that day was  
wake up  
but i don't  
wake up  
early anymore for a while there i didn't  
wake up  
for so long because i would sleep for twelve hours or more but now i don't  
wake up  
late because i've been oversleeping i  
wake up  
late because i've been undersleeping these past few nights i haven't slept at all because every time i fall asleep i have nightmares of seeing him fall apart in front of my eyes and when i  
wake up  
he's not there to comfort me like he used to when i had nightmares he used to have them too he would  
wake up  
in the middle of the night screaming and the one time he was flailing in his sleep so i tried to get him to  
wake up  
by holding down his hands because he almost smacked me but when he did  
wake up  
i found out he had a nightmare about being strapped to a table and injected and tested and operated on and i felt so bad but he told me that everything was okay and he was just glad that it was me there when he did  
wake up  
and not some hydra scientist i have nightmares about that too except i'm behind a glass window and i'm all chained up and i have to watch them torture him and hear him scream and every time i open my mouth nothing at all comes out and he's pleading with me he's telling me to save him to help him and i can't do anything about it all i can do is watch as he screams for me and they cut off his arm with him still awake because they used all their sedatives on their own soldiers and every day it gets worse i haven't slept in four days and every time i close my eyes i see him fall apart i don't think i can take this anymore  
....  
i'm sorry i haven't been able to talk to someone in such a long time  
....  
they tell me to  
wake up  
and see that he isn't coming back  
but i miss him too goddamn much for that  
i don't want to get over him  
i don't want to move on  
i want to go where he went i want to go with him i want to be with him  
but i guess someday soon i will have to  
wake up

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments appreciated!!


End file.
